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It can be very comforting and good for the ego, not to mention the excitement of the risk of being caught.
Wexford-based psychotherapist Eoin Stephens specialises in addiction counselling and has a special interest in sexual addiction.This kind of less intimate sexual contact does seem to fit in particularly well with male sexual psychology.But not exclusively so, as women obviously also use chat rooms for sexual or romantic purposes." Any number of scenarios can have occurred by the time professional help is sought, he says.Also, young men are experiencing a deadening of their libido when it comes to relating directly to "real" women.Far from cybersex making men more rapacious, Wolf said: "In fact, it is making a whole generation of men less erotically able to connect to women as people." In addition to a wide range of pornography, the internet offers adult chat rooms which facilitate the most mundane sexual encounters to the most extreme fetish scenarios. This is causing widespread anxiety among parents, as so many children and teenagers now own one.Often, a wife may try to rationalise her husband's involvement with the computer as 'not really infidelity'." According to Stephens, "If you feel that your partner is more in love with his PC than he is with you, then you are probably right.
A gut feeling will tell you if something feels wrong.
Cybersex is particularly addictive because the internet is affordable, accessible and anonymous.
"The combination of virtual sex and romance makes for a powerful cocktail.
They feel more powerful and in control, while avoiding the uncomfortable side of a real relationship and sticking with the enjoyable and novel aspects.
"The danger is that they risk becoming more remote, while reinforcing their social anxieties. Addiction brings things up to another level," Stephens adds.
They can get careless and leave a trail of evidence.