Fun speed dating
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My schedule for the month of December was packed with holiday parties, dinners out with friends, and end-of-year work deadlines.I should have been on top of my game, reveling in the joy and liveliness of the season. But every morning until the fated day, I looked at one single calendar notification with horror. The name conjures mental images of desperate women in 1980s power suits and awkward men with bad hair, struggling to form a conversation between five-minute bell rings.
Women would sit at tables, and men would change seats every five minutes.Dating Dani, our resident Dating expert, has put together a list of useful speed dating questions for you to ask to keep the conversation flowing.“We can all get a little stuck for words and tongue tied from time to time.Speed dating has been around since 1999, when Rabbi Yaacov Deyo and several of his single students put a new twist on the longstanding Jewish tradition of introducing young Jewish singles to one another at chaperoned gatherings.At a speed dating event, participants are paired up in a series of quick five- to seven-minute "dates." When the time is up, a bell or timer is rung, and participants move on to their next one-on-one conversation.But dating via apps can be exhausting: a barrage of single, attractive people with whom you talk to for a bit and schedule a date, and then pray you actually have chemistry with in real life. Speed NY Dating’s events are held in bars across the city, aiming to be “low-key” with a “relaxed sensibility.” That held true when I arrived at the bar, which felt like any other Midtown bar on a Wednesday night, full of happy hour revelers and single people checking their phones.
I imagined speed dating to be like my least favorite type of date — realizing you’re not attracted to each other, then having to carry the conversation because your date has poor social skills — times 10. The host was a woman who looked like she could’ve been a participant herself, designated only by her clipboard and a stack of notecards.While seven minutes may not seem long enough to determine whether a new acquaintance is a potential match, Rabbi Deyo and other speed dating organizers have found that it gives participants plenty of time to gauge their level of interest or get a feeling that the other person is just not the right fit.As an added bonus, the round-robin setup enables participants to meet more potential matches in one evening than they might otherwise encounter in a month or more of traditional dating.As a heterosexual woman who’s had her fair share of bad dating experiences, from uncomfortable to downright unsafe, it was a pretty sweet deal.The only problem I had was remembering the people I talked to.So, despite my weeks of horror leading up to the event, speed dating turned out to be a great way to meet seemingly well-adjusted, professional humans who are looking for something real, without spending hours swiping on your phone and going on immediately disappointing first dates.